The high rate of anxiety and uncertainty in relationships can be caused by several factors and one of the dominant factors can be attributed to Procastination.
Procastination can be described in this context as the act of putting things to a future date and from that future date to another.
In other words its an idea of postponing an event or action from one date to another there by creating an atmosphere of uncertainty in a given situation.
With reference to the marital institution, procastination is an attribute being adopted by either males or females in attempt to differ the reality that is associated with having and keeping a life partner.
It is like a form of excuse being used by people to avoid being tied down to the marital institution and the things associated with it.
The causative factors of procastination in men is quite difference from the causative factors of procastination in women. But for the purpose of this article i will focus attention on procastination in MEN.
In men, procastination can be caused by the following.
(1) PERSONAL LIFESTYLE.
Any man who is a cassanova will not always be comfortable when the issue of marriage is mentioned. His lifestyle as a cassanova often take a toll on his personality and will often assist him to figure out an excuse on why his marital proposal needed to be delayed and possibly postponed to another future date.
In the same vein the fear of commitment is always another variable that makes a cassanova to always postpone marital arrangement with the belief that he is likely to be tied down to one woman the moment he gets married.
(2) FAMILY INFLUENCE.
A man is expected to migrate from being a boy to being a man, but in some case the reverse is often the case.
Most men tend to procastinate in their marriage as a result of influence from their immediate family members.
Most families tend to dictate to their son when to marry. This happen mostly when the man in question is the breadwinner or the sole provider of the family..it is often believed that the moment the man is married , he will likely focus his attention to his wife and children, thereby paying less attention to his relatives. Based on this fact there will be effort from his family members to have him postpone his marriage to an unending future date because of their selfish motives.
In situations of this nature, intended wife of the man often get devastated and most of the times even get more confused than the man himself.
(3) FINANCIAL CONSTRAINTS.
Procastination in marriage can also be caused by a situation of financial inadequacy on the part of the man.
Some places in Africa or rather Nigeria in particular have some marital rites that has a high level of financial attachement.
This financial attachment is what often discourage some eligible youngmen from getting married ..they often resort to procastination pending when their financial situation improves. More often than not, the financial situation does not always improve because of the enormous level of responsibility that will be taken care of by the minimal income of the man.
Apart from the marital rites, it is also expected of a man to take financial responsibility of his wife and sometimes of that of the inlaws as the case may be and can be varied from one ethnic group or tribe to another.
This idea is often one of the burden that is associated with settelling down as a married man because the scope of responsibility is expected to increase.
Moreover in african context or nigeria in particular, a man is expected to own his own house or his own apartment before he is expected to marry, as to enable him afford maximum comfort to his wife and children.
Most men often have the pride on not wanting to continue staying with their relatives the moment they get married.
This is often a difficult moment of a man that is not bouyant enough to acquire a house or even rent an apartment.
Based on this he can just resort to procastination , pending when he is able to arrange for an apartment to enable him have his privacy with his partner.
Some young men, having seen people who went into marriage before and having seen the level of problems that is associated with it decides to play games and adopt the idea of procatination towards marriage.
