SUBMISSION
What is submission or submissiveness? According to http://reference.com, “Submissiveness is the trait of being willing to yield to the will of another person or a superior force. Within a relationship there may be a submissive partner. This partner may be trying to appease the other(s) through agreeing to their command.” The underlined is my emphasis. Submission is the root word, and has synonyms as, obedience, compliance, capitulation, surrender, acquiescence, giving in, deference, etc. The antonym is “resistance”. In any relationship, everyone has a will, but when you are submissive, you willingly yield, put under, subject your will to that of the person you submit to. The bible, in Ephesians 5:22-24 says:
22: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.
24: Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
The reason why submission is a difficult word is that, like patience, it is not easy to do. I have heard a lot of women congratulate themselves on their submissiveness; more like a self-pat in the back. However, talking to their spouses later, I discovered they are not as submissive as they had thought, or maybe not as much as the husbands expected. Is therefore any way of measuring submissiveness? Fortunately, there is. Eph. 5:22 has the key. It says: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. That is the standard; that is the expectation. How many times have we told Jesus that, Lord, I want or don’t want to do this or that, but may Your will be done. Not what I want, but what You want? Is that how our women see and talk to their husbands? A couple of years ago, I attended a church and the pastor was talking about submission and along the line he mentioned Sarah, who was so submissive to the point that she called her husband, lord. A lady there couldn’t take it. She got up and asked, If we call our husbands lord, what then shall we call Jesus? To which the pastor calmly replied, Lord of lords. There are all sorts of lords, but there is only one Lord over all. You go into the courts and the judges are called lords, does that make them the savior?
Now, I don’t know about any lady in this day and age calling her husband “lord” anymore. In the name of modernization, a lot of those ancient landmarks; things that made the world better have been upturned, yet we wonder why we do not live long or get the results people of old got. However, we can safely say that the wife is expected to give unto her husband due regard, much like you would give unto the Lord. In other words, if Jesus would ask you to do a thing and you are sure He is the one asking you to, what would your attitude or reaction be? That is the same way you should react to your husband. This is because the husband is the head of the wife, just like Christ is the head of the church. Now, literally speaking, what can anyone do without their heads? For a moment, just imagine somebody walking towards you headless even in broad daylight, I’m sure you would outrun Marion Jones on the tracks! I remember the story of David and Goliath. David hauled the rock at Goliath who fell, but to ensure that Goliath was permanently certified dead and victory assured, Goliath’s head had to be cut off. Anyone without their head is deemed dead. This is the position of the husband in the life of his wife.
1 Peter 3
1: Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2: While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3: Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4: But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5: For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
Our fore-mothers (if we had fore-fathers) that were good examples to us adorned themselves with meek and quiet spirit. Any sane man would appreciate a woman with meek and quiet spirit. Remember the model woman in Proverbs 31? It says the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. No ordinary woman. If a woman would try to just follow that example, we would be heading somewhere, won’t we? Imagine that your husband can trust what you will say or do at any given point whether he is there or not. He can trust you with family finance, knowing you will not spend all the money on jewelries and clothes at the expense of more important things at home, jumping from one party to another. From California to New York, they know you as madam happiness. If it is happening, you will be there. After all, when you have an occasion too, you expect people to attend, so you must attend every party or ceremony you are invited to even at the risk of your family unity.
Now, someone is reading this and is saying some men are no better than the devil. You just can’t please them. No matter what you do, even if you use your head to mop their feet every morning, they will still treat you like trash. I will come back to the roles of the men in the next section, but permit me to tell you this real life story.
There was this man and his wife in Lagos, Nigeria. They got married and were living together happily until things began to turn awry. That is the usual order. You meet this person, and you think this is heaven! You get married and things are going so good you can’t believe it. But then slowly and gradually, things begin to change. It is normal in every relationship. It is only abnormal if the trend is not arrested because it is a downward trend. This is where the things you have in common with your spouse come in (see Thoughts on Relationships). So, for this family (let us call them Mr. & Mrs. Brown for the purpose of this article) things began on the downward drift and they didn’t successfully do anything about it. It got worse and worse. They couldn’t have a baby because of the constant upheavals. They fought and quarreled at every opportunity and about everything. It was so bad that the neighbors had to come in time and again to settle rifts for them. After some time, the neighbors stopped coming and left them to their devices. So they would fight and fight and break furniture and practically all the valuables in their home.
In the morning when they wake up for instance, anything like, “who took my shaving machine from here?” is enough to start the day. The wife would shoot back her response and before you know it, everywhere is aflame until they get tired and go to work. They became the morning alarm bell for their neighbors. When you hear the Browns in the morning, you can tell its time to start getting ready for work. Things were really bad, nearing the point of hopelessness. Sounds familiar?
Continued in Part Three
