This article is a Bible-based viewpoint on relationships. That notwithstanding, I’m convinced that anyone or couple that follows the principles will get the benefits irrespective of their religious leaning.
Meeting a suitable partner is certainly not the end of the road, but the beginning of another, and hopefully, life-long journey. Meeting a suitable partner is supposed to help us go through the problems of marriage fairly easily. It is not to say that having the right partner means there will be no problem in the relationship. It is therefore a means to an end, and not an end in itself. For emphasis, every marriage has its own set of challenges. It is just the way it is and there is absolutely nothing that can be done about that other than to learn to work through these challenges, solving every problem as they arise and moving on till death does part.
There are a number of “difficult” words in the bible. Difficult in the sense that while they may be good in terms of their fruits; end results, they are not so easy to follow, accomplish, exercise or do. One of such words is “patience”. Anyone asking God to give them patience is like asking for “trouble”. Otherwise, how do you know your prayer is answered and that you really have patience? Somebody prayed, God give me patience NOW! You must be tested. Things will happen that will stretch you and when you do not react like you normally would, you know you have more patience. And I tell you, it is not always a palatable experience that tests your patience. Ask Moses.
Patience from another angle is the ability to hold on to God and wait on Him for what He promised. Abraham and Sarah had to wait for so long even after God promised them Isaac. I have often wondered why God had to wait that long to give Abraham the promised child. The truth is God does not look at time the way we do. No wonder the bible says He has an appointed time for everything He wants to do. He is very organized and articulate. A lot of times we pray for something and He says nothing and we think He didn’t hear. It is only that He has a time for that thing to come to pass. As humans, we are so impatient because we do not know God’s timing for a thing or event. If He answers and tells you, I will do it, then there is another problem. We take that to mean He is going to do it today or tomorrow, whereas He is probably thinking of the next ten years! At a point, Sarah tried to help God to keep His word due to impatience. The end result of which is the unending feud we have in the Middle East today. Patience is by no means an easy word, but think of it. If we can wait on God to deliver according to His word and time, what a happy ending we will always have!
Some other difficult words for the purpose of this article are “submission” and “love”. These words have suffered a lot of abuse in terms of interpretation and understanding. A lot of people have interpreted them to suit their pre-determined ends. But then, it is like a person who was hit ten times and was asked how many times he was hit, and because of the shame, he said he was hit five times. How does that remove the pain of the other five times he didn’t acknowledge? It is up to us as individuals to face the truth no matter how uncomfortable it might be, so that we can achieve our life goals. I often say there are two people you cannot deceive: God and yourself. Everyone else may not know the truth, but those two people always do.
I want to premise the success of any marital relationship upon those two words: submission and love as are found and demanded in the Bible. I said somewhere else that success in relationships is about roles and responsibilities. Even the secular world knows this; and that is the whole essence of the term “organization”. If we all know what is expected of us and do them when and how it is expected, there will be a lot less problem, I presume. Let me take on SUBMISSION first. This is a trip we are taking together. Please join me in Part Two.
